First off, thank you to everyone offering me your support, but I am really doing fine. Talking about it all over again (after this journal) might only make it worse. But anyway, here goes. And this is going to be long, and probably all over the place.
So Cotey and I met in January of 2012. We were both dating other people. Then we met back up by chance when we were both single (well at the very least, I was, after everything, I don't know if he actually was or not at that time). We dated for about six months before he cheated on me the first time. With some girl he'd known forever named Courtney. Some time passed and along came Cindy. Then Vicky. Then Amanda. Then Victoria. I kept forgiving him every time, thinking "Surely this time, he'll change. He definitely wouldn't hurt me like this again." Shows how much I know, but, love makes fools of us all. So yeah, with the most recent one, he had started acting weird, and with four behind us, I knew what to look for. He had started being on his phone more and more. He had a snapchat (something he had previously chided me about, calling it "another stupid attention app"). Then one night, he went to go get cigarettes and didn't come back. I'm not kidding. He literally pulled the "daddy went to get milk and never came back on me." Or at least, he didn't come back for two hours. I chewed him out, but he continued to insist that he was not doing anything wrong. And he did so for another week. Further leading me on. Then I asked to see his phone, thinking, if he's not cheating on me, he'll have no problem letting me see the back and forth of the messages, as he had nothing to hide. He refused. Adamantly and vehemently refused. Insisting that it didn't matter. Then, the last straw. He went to Athens for a job interview with Verizon. Said our mutual friend Robbie was taking him. But then he wasn't home even four hours after he should have been, even allowing for the interview to be two hours long and the drive to take four. He texted me, letting me know that he had stopped by his mother's to tell her all the news. So I called him. And he didn't answer. Neither did he answer for the next 8 times I called him. Because he was with her. Again. He had lied to me, again. But I was willing to forgive, forget, and let it go. But no, this woman he had just met, was worth more to him than our two years of history and memories. And by that point, I don't even know why I was still holding on. Maybe it was just for the memories that we'd had together. Maybe it was the comfort of having someone. It was most likely the idea of being in love. But I know that even if it were not her, it would be someone else. So yeah. That's that.
So now, I'm moving to Atlanta. I'm moving in with someone who has been there for me no matter what. Who didn't even question why I needed to stay with him. Who's never stopped wanting me for a second in seven years. Who I couldn't talk to because I've always felt the same.
So yeah, things are looking up, and I'm VERY excited.
Totoro Journal Skin by starrily
